Mary Beth Smart is a former University of Georgia women's basketball team captain, mother of three and wife to Kirby Smart, head coach of UGA's football team. Mary Beth and Kristi reminisce about their rivalries in the Southeastern Conference (SEC), and Mary Beth shares personal family stories that coincided with some of Alabama's and Georgia's most successful seasons. The two also discuss some of the joys and challenges of raising children around football teams.
Mary Beth Smart is a former University of Georgia women's basketball team captain, a mother of three and wife to Kirby Smart, head coach of UGA's football team. Mary Beth and Kristi reminisce about their rivalries in the Southeastern Conference (SEC) and Mary Beth shares personal family stories that coincided with some of Alabama's and Georgia's most successful seasons. The two also discuss some of the joys and challenges of raising children around football teams.
Video of Episode 2 with Mary Beth Smart can be viewed on YouTube.
Click to read the full transcript of this episode.
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Hi friends. Welcome back to Beyond Gameday. First of all I just want to say thank you. Thank you for all of the love and the support, comments, the likes, the posts, the shares — it has all been very humbling and I really do appreciate it so much. Today we have got a guest by the name of Mary Beth Smart. You might recognize her as the wife of Kirby Smart, who is the head football coach at the University of Georgia. They won the national championship this year — just a small, little thing. So again, I appreciate you and let's get to it.
Before we kick this off, I wanted to address that in this episode we had some minor technical issues with Mary Beth's audio. Please stick with it because it's a great conversation. And with that, buckle up and enjoy my conversation with Mary Beth Smart.
Kristi Malzahn: Do you remember the first time that we met?
Mary Beth Smart: I think that I do. I was trying to remember that this morning. Was it at in Destin, at the SEC Meetings? Is that when you remember it?
Kristi Malzahn: (pause) No.
Mary Beth Smart: (laughs). Or was it at Reynold’s?
Kristi Malzahn: It was at Reynold’s. That I remember. That’s why I was like. Y’all were still working for ’Bama at the time.
Mary Beth Smart: I do remember.
Kristi Malzahn: Yeah.
Mary Beth Smart: I was really, really intimidated coming into that hospitality room.
Kristi Malzahn: Why?
Mary Beth Smart: I remember that. Well just because it was all the legends. It was like Jerry Spurrier, Kristi Malzahn, Kathleen Swinney.
Kristi Malzahn: Oh yeah, legend. (laughs).
Mary Beth Smart: It was like a lot of people that have been doing this for a long time. And Kirby wasn’t even the head coach yet. So it was like here I come and I’m 5-foot-10 and I can’t hide you know so it’s like hey.
Kristi Malzahn: Which I absolutely adore. I’m going to tell ya, when I’m having to, ‘Hey, Mary Beth, how are ya?’ (laughs) It’s great fun for all of us.
Mary Beth Smart: I have to be careful, especially on game day because I hug people and they’re right up in my armpit, you know.
Kristi Malzahn: That’s funny. It was so funny because I was thinking about that. That was one of those moments where you go, so where did you first meet? And I thought I will never forget — that has been something that has stuck with me but it’s so typical of the SEC because do you remember what you said?
Mary Beth Smart: No. No I don’t remember.
Kristi Malzahn: OK well it stuck with me so maybe you’re the legend. You were like, ’You know, we would… I would really like you if we weren’t Auburn and Alabama’ (laughs). And I just remember thinking, absolutely! We would be friends. But we kind of can’t be right now. (laughs).
Mary Beth Smart: That’s funny.
Kristi Malzahn: It was pretty awesome. It was pretty awesome.
Mary Beth Smart: I was thinking about it too. We were like legit rivals.
Kristi Malzahn: Oh.
Mary Beth Smart: At Alabama and Auburn. And then same here at Georgia. That’s like our other big —
Kristi Malzahn: So that was the other thing you said that stuck with me because I said the two places that I just ugh about going to play and you go, “Oh those are my favorite!” (laughs). And I was like we really are at that all-intense opposite ends right now. So yeah, it’s a special, special thing so. You’ve been there for some of my biggest highs and some of my lowest lows. So what can I say? Hey Mary Beth! (laughs)
Mary Beth Smart: (laughs).
Kristi Malzahn: I want you to tell, how did y’all meet. You and Kirby.
Mary Beth Smart: So I was a Division I athlete, played basketball all four years at Georgia. I was actually captain my senior year – that is one of my most proud accomplishments. Didn’t lead the team in scoring or anything but I was the captain. And I just didn’t want to leave Athens. I felt like I didn’t get the full college experience. I was like a dedicated student-athlete, didn’t drink in college, didn’t go out. I was just super disciplined and just kind of wanted to stay and have a fall football season and actually get to enjoy the games and tailgate. And so I stayed a year, and then I stayed another year. And I was working in the athletic department when Kirby was hired by Coach Richt in 2005. I called myself the travel lady. I kind of booked travel. I worked in the business office, I kind of did a whole combination of things. I booked his flight. He was coming from LSU with Coach Saban. And I booked his interview flight to Athens, or to Atlanta. And then it was just like, I guess I was his first contact and he started just calling me for everything he needed. “Where should I get my hair cut?” I don’t know. But it was just like — I should have known then he was just a little bit high maintenance.
Kristi Malzahn: (laughs) Yeah.
Mary Beth Smart: (laughs) But yeah he called me for everything and then one thing just led into another.
Kristi Malzahn: Well, there it is. I didn’t know—
Mary Beth Smart: I do remember the first time I met him. He walked into my office and we had talked on the phone for like six weeks at this point. And I had never met him. We didn’t overlap in school, he’s six years older than I am. I knew he played at Georgia and I knew he was All-SEC, I just assumed he’d be a little bit taller. (laughs) He walked into my office and I had on these 3-inch heels and I stood up and I was like oh. (laughs)
Kristi Malzahn: I see you (laughs).
Mary Beth Smart: I see the top of your head (laughs).
Kristi Malzahn: (laughs) Oh that’s awesome.
Mary Beth Smart: He is taller than me flat footed but not by much so.
Kristi Malzahn: Well you know that’s OK. It was fast and furious. You get married and you go to Alabama correct?
Mary Beth Smart: No. No you missed a spot. We went to the Dolphins.
Kristi Malzahn: OK so go ahead, fill me in.
Mary Beth Smart: So yeah it was very fast and furious. I met him in January but we really didn’t start dating until May maybe. So we had a summer and then it’s football season. We’d have our Thursday night date nights but that was as much as I’d really see him. And then Coach Saban took the job, well no actually Coach Saban had been there a year. But it was our friend Will Muschamp left the Dolphins, went to Auburn I think—
Kristi Malzahn: mm-hmm (affirmative)
Mary Beth Smart: And so Saban hired Kirby to take Muschamp’s spot at the Dolphins. And we were just there one season before he left to go to Alabama.
Kristi Malzahn: Ok gotcha.
Mary Beth Smart: But we got married like super quick. It was just engaged, as soon as he left for Miami we got engaged and then married that July.
Kristi Malzahn: He wasn’t going to leave you behind. That’s the thing.
Mary Beth Smart: Well no. And mama and daddy weren’t having me going down there without some kind of ring. (laughs)
Kristi Malzahn: Well NO. Absolutely. Or the nuptials (laughs)
Mary Beth Smart: That’s right.
Kristi Malzahn: I know, I understand. And good for mama and daddy. Good for them. That’s right.
Mary Beth Smart: That’s right.
Kristi Malzahn: Well that’s fun. Then you were at Alabama and then quickly here come double blessing, double trouble, right within year two?
Mary Beth Smart: That’s right. Within a year, we were married in 2006 in July, and the twins were born in February of ’08. Those years were such a whirlwind. I don’t even really remember much.
Kristi Malzahn: At all. I’m sure.
Mary Beth Smart: At all.
Kristi Malzahn: I mean I can’t even imagine because that was, oh, just rebuilding the program and all the work that goes into it and knowing what I know of you know that head coach’s philosophy on work ethic and time and all the things, you kind it did it alone, huh? A little bit?
Mary Beth Smart: I did a lot of it alone. Well, I hired a nanny when they were about 3 years, (corrects) 3 months old. And she would come three mornings a week and she just was, just saved my life back then honestly because my parents didn’t live close, they were four hours away. And my in-laws, I mean they’ve both been very helpful, still are. But it — you know, it wasn’t like I could just call her and say come over and let me go to the grocery store.
Kristi Malzahn: And say get over here, I need a break. Yeah.
Mary Beth Smart: And there was no Instacart back then, you know?
Kristi Malzahn: You went to the grocery store. (laughs)
Mary Beth Smart: To the grocery store in those little race cart, you know shopping carts, these two little blonde headed babies. I just remember dreading going to the grocery store because it was such a chore back then.
But yeah Kirby didn’t help me a whole lot with the babies. But I didn’t expect him to really. I don’t know. I just never — it was like this is my job. That’s your job, this is my job.
Kristi Malzahn: Yeah.
Mary Beth Smart: So it just works.
Kristi Malzahn: It does. When you address it, when you look at it from that direction. I think. I think there’s a little bit of give and take, it’s not like I expected but I don’t know sometimes, my sons-in-law are so involved with the babies and with my grands that I’m just like, what did I do wrong? But at the same time—
Mary Beth Smart: (laughs)
Kristi Malzahn: I think I just knew that that was kind of the way it worked, you know. That he was going to put in the hours and I was going to be Mom. And that’s what I did.
Mary Beth Smart: Yeah.
Kristi Malzahn: And I was thankful to be able to do some of that but yeah I think that’s a lot of it.
Mary Beth Smart: It helped. My dad was the same way. My dad was super hands on and he did everything but my father-in-law was a high school football coach. So my mother-in-law did everything on her own. So having her, she was very, very good and very helpful at the beginning just saying, here’s what I did, this is how you find friends. Find something outside of football. So I started playing tennis and that was kind of my outlet, how I found friends outside of the football office and kept me felt like grounded and normal. There’s nothing more than I love when I meet somebody and they don’t have a clue. (laughs)
Kristi Malzahn: Isn’t it great? But the beauty of what you just said, you had a coach’s wife that was pouring in. That was helping you.
Mary Beth Smart: Yup.
Kristi Malzahn: Kind of giving a little bit. I feel like there’s kind of a gap for a lot of, I don’t know I’m on some of these Facebook groups that are coaches’ wives and stuff and sometimes the questions, I’m just — there’s never a stupid question but yet, I just, it’s like what, where did we miss the piece of somebody pouring into you to help for you to understand that this is what it’s going to look like, you know? But I think that’s part of why this became a thing. I want to make certain that if there’s any advice that’s out there that can be given, would love for it to be out there so you can get it somewhere.
Mary Beth Smart: mm-hmm (affirmative). And I think, sometimes it’s not only just coaches’ wives. I mean I’ve got a lot of friends whose husbands are doctors and they are very similar schedule-wise and pressure. I mean shoot, there’s people’s lives depend on them. So I think it’s a universal thing. It’s just becoming independent and finding people to help around you to help you.
Kristi Malzahn: Yeah, I do. And I think that’s brilliant. When we were getting married somebody telling me doctors, coaches and pastors were all like property of the town. Whatever little town that you live in. And it’s kind of a thing of those job, those roles, there are a lot of expectations and a lot of things that are very similar in that rank for sure.
You know, at what point, because I mean how many national championships can you win as a coordinator before it feels like OK it’s time, let’s do something different?
Mary Beth Smart: I know. I think, it wasn’t that he – I mean I think a lot of it was timing. There were a couple he was interested in. Even other coordinator jobs, parallel. And then the head coaching jobs started kind of coming in but it just never felt right. And I remember his dad, one piece of advice he gave him early in his career was like, if you’re going to say no, say no and never look back.
Kristi Malzahn: Right.
Mary Beth Smart: You know it was just, just you’ve got to make your decision and never look back. And I don’t think we could have written his story any better to now be here but
Kristi Malzahn: No, it’s pretty charmed. (laughs)
Mary Beth Smart: It really, really is.
Kristi Malzahn: It really, really is. When you start to —
Mary Beth Smart: He’s earned it. He works his tail off.
Kristi Malzahn: Oh absolutely. Absolutely.
Mary Beth Smart: But there’s a lot of just the timing, and I think part of it, too, was, our family was really happy in Tuscaloosa. I mean he worked hard, but he’s never known anything other than working hard.
Kristi Malzahn: Right.
Mary Beth Smart: Which I think is a good thing. You know he came up in that system where that is just what is expected of you and it’s just the way it is. He never worked any other way. And that’s what I was used to, so I didn’t know any different. And, you know, we were winning and we had good kids, good players and the town was great. So it was it was not like it was like just easy like “we’re miserable here, let’s go.” You know we were happy.
Kristi Malzahn: Right. That’s, it’s a real thing. It’s a real thing when you’re doing well and to make that decision, I’m going to jump and not knowing exactly, but there is something about not looking back. That is a huge piece. Like you can’t be wondering about what ifs. Move forward. So great advice dad, you know kind of thing for sure.
That’s um, so timing wise it works out and you know here you go walking into the big hometown, can’t return home and yet you did. And you’ve done it well.
Mary Beth Smart: It’s crazy. When we first, when Kirby first got the job, I was scared out of my mind to come back to Athens because everybody that knew us in Athens knew us as 20-year-olds. You know? And now it’s like here we are, actual adults, with three children with everybody looking at us. And we’re completely different people than we were back then. And so it just felt at first, especially, and I mean there’s still all eyes, but it felt like such a fish bowl at first. So I just kind of went into hiding for about the first year. Kind of went into a little hole. Just felt my way around.
Kristi Malzahn: Going from the assistant to the head wife is a, it’s a whole thing. It’s a whole thing. And it gives you a different appreciation for what your head coach’s wife was doing because there is so much that goes into it that is not seen.
Mary Beth Smart: 100%.
Kristi Malzahn: That is not seen at all. And it used to be there’s conversations, there’s you know — I know one time Gus looked at me and he was like, “Do you know how many questions I answered? Like even down to what colors are we going to wear at practice?” Like that’s something that maybe I shouldn’t have to, but it’s a whole thing like every thing matters. And everything gets decided through this office. And it’s the position. It’s not the person. Obviously. And that’s something that I preach to my kids all the time. It’s the position. The criticism as well as the praise. It’s the position that’s being praised because at the end of the day, the next one coming in or the next one going out, whatever, they can be hired or fired, and loved and cherished, or hated and despised just as easily because it’s really not about you personally. It’s more about your position. So but it’s a whole thing of how much pressure comes with that.
So we were talking just a little bit ago and it looks all charmed and pretty. And it looks like y’all have had this incredible winning. Which you have. Incredible winning history and all these things that are so great, but behind the scenes, there’s real life stuff going on.
Mary Beth Smart: Oh yeah.
Kristi Malzahn: And you have real life stuff going on that you want to share a little bit about a couple of? I mean I know there was some stuff.
Mary Beth Smart: Yeah. Yeah absolutely. I would say probably other than my children being born, which is huge life changing things. My mother was diagnosed, she was diagnosed with breast cancer before Kirby and I got married back in 2005. And it was just like easy peasy, early stage. She had to do chemo but it was like you’re going to be fine. And she was. For six years.
But she was diagnosed again when I was pregnant with Andrew in February of 2012. He’s my youngest. And so she was diagnosed in 2012 and you know they said it’s back on her liver. And she did do chemo and some things but she died in November of that year. So it’s almost been 10 years which is kind of hard. I mean I couldn’t have even talked like this about it five or six years ago. Time does just help with some things. But it was a really tough, tough time.
She didn’t get really, really sick until about October, which of course October is Alabama is playing A&M, LSU, you know Arkansas and so the last week of her life there was, she died on a Tuesday. It was election day, I remember that. And they played LSU, at LSU that Saturday. And then she died on a Tuesday. So Kirby was not able to be with me at all. It was me and the baby, truly. My mother-in-law took the twins and I was still nursing the baby. I went with my dad. It’s just life. And I look back on that time and Bama beat LSU at LSU that Saturday and then it was Johnny Manziel came to Tuscaloosa and beat Alabama that following week and then he had to fly that night out to come meet me for her funeral that Sunday.
You know and it’s like you think about these things. And it’s not just us, it’s all coaches all the way around us. There is real life things and hurt and tough, tough times going on that nobody knows about. I mean I don’t think anybody knew about that, that he was going through that at the time.
Um now my fellow coaches’ wives did. They, I mean, that’s going to make me cry. How they just wrapped me up. You know.
Kristi Malzahn: Yeah. I do.
Mary Beth Smart: I’m going to be OK.
Kristi Malzahn: No, it’s the truth though.
Mary Beth Smart: They did. They came on a plane. Miss Terry had a plane and brought all of them to my mama’s funeral and they were all there. You think about that kind of thing when you talk about women pouring into — um sorry, I didn’t see that coming.
But anyway you know we got through it and it was a tough. And that was a year he had a chance for a job and it was kind of just like I don’t know if we can do that right now. I don’t know if we can move right now. But, in hindsight it all is a story. Like you say, it was a story written before it happened.
So that was a tough, tough year. And of course I’m post partum and you know it’s just all the things and carrying that baby around with me. He was like a wrecking ball. Carrying him around he went everywhere with me. So that was a year.
Kristi Malzahn: You went through all of that. And you’re right. I think that’s the piece, the beauty of what, when you talk about the doctors or your friends that their husbands are busy and doing, it’s one of those things that I’ve always kind of it like at least our husbands do something where we get to participate if we choose to and
Mary Beth Smart: That’s right.
Kristi Malzahn: You have a community of women who get your life. They get it because they’re living — while all of us have different things on the piece around it, at the core we all get it. And there’s really not anybody else. I was talking to my girls the other day. I said, even our children don’t understand what coaches’ wives go through. Coaches’ kids they have a very real part too. And it’s a whole other story. And there’s a lot of good and bad for them. But they still don’t get a coach’s wife life. Which that’s you know, it’s still just — even though they’re in the home and they’re experiencing a lot of the same kind of things, they’re experiencing it from a different perspective. So —
Mary Beth Smart: Different perspective and they’re also, the kids are also in that phase where the world revolves around them. It’s like they are the sun and the moon and the stars—
Kristi Malzahn: Wait does that stop? I don’t know. (laughs) It’s fun and glorious. I hope you’re soaking up every minute of it.
Mary Beth Smart: Yeah.
Kristi Malzahn: So then what happened?
Mary Beth Smart: Well.
Kristi Malzahn: You had another four or five years.
Mary Beth Smart: I’m thinking, alright so ’13, ’14. I don’t really remember what years we won the championships. I know we did it in our last year, ’15 we beat Clemson. And we were in Phoenix and we flew, that was the craziest. That was I mean, Kirby got the job at Georgia in December right after the SEC Championship. And then continued to work for Alabama through the playoffs. I mean he turned 40 that December. I mean I remember like him coming home and us having a cake and he was like “ehh (blow out)” he couldn’t even blow his candles out he was so tired. (laughs) And yeah, the Cotton Bowl was in Dallas. That was the playoff game and I didn’t even go until maybe the day before the game. Which I had never done. I am always all in, going everywhere. But I stayed back and packed the house up. We actually moved right away, the kids and I. Because I felt like I needed to be there for recruiting. And honestly I’d never been away from Kirby.
Kristi Malzahn: Right.
Mary Beth Smart: Like we’ve never had to live away from him and we just didn’t want to. He didn’t want us to. So my kids, I mean I guess the national championship game would have been in Phoenix on like January 10 and we flew home to Athens that next morning with my older son puking his guts out. He had a stomach bug. We get off the plane and all the cameras are there and he’s just green. It’s one of those things that you just remember about the day. And yeah, so my kids started school in Athens like two days later. They were in second grade and now they’re going into ninth, which is insane to me they’re starting high school.
Kristi Malzahn: That is insane. That is insane.
Mary Beth Smart: And that we’ve made it that long here. You know.
Kristi Malzahn: Well, yes. It is. I mean there’s because it as close, it was close and it was close and then there it was. So you know, kudos to them for sticking with and hanging in there and knowing that it was coming and you know good things come to those who wait sometimes. There it is.
Mary Beth Smart: And I mean this year especially has been just so crazy. And was so much fun.
Kristi Malzahn: So much fun. That’s what I was going to ask.
Mary Beth Smart: But you know how it is. When you’re in a championship season, it’s like every game is bigger than the one before. It doesn’t matter if it’s the 10th game of the year or the 2nd game. There’s no margin for error. There’s no starting over until you get in the playoffs. Once you’re in, you’re in.
Kristi Malzahn: Right. But then it’s a 1-and-done, and if you don’t do it, you don’t do it. And then it’s yeah.
Mary Beth Smart: So every game is just the pressure, it’s like a snowball just pushing it down the thing and it’s just bigger and bigger and the fact that Georgia hadn’t done it for so long, the fans here were just desperate. And rightfully so. Just desperate because they’ve seen Auburn do it. They’ve seen Alabama do it. Florida. Everybody in our conference.
It was just this mounting pressure and then part of it, and this is the other part that nobody knows, is that my sister who is two years younger than I am, she just turned 39, was diagnosed with breast cancer, last August. Or she was diagnosed in June, started chemo in August. So it was like literally a football season of chemo for her and hers was actually a different type than my mother’s. They said completely unrelated. Hers was more aggressive than my mother’s so she had the worst, she had 16 chemo treatments in 20 weeks. Hers was literally, she said it was a like a football gauntlet. Every Friday she was going.
Kristi Malzahn: It got worse and worse and worse, build up build up build up. Yeah. So but she’s¸—
Mary Beth Smart: And it kind of kept me grounded a little bit through this. It’s like, “Ohh ,we’ve got Arkansas and they’re 5-0 and they’re coming in,” and I’m like, thinking what really matters here is my sister.
Kristi Malzahn: Right, right.
Mary Beth Smart: I’ll skip to the end and tell you she’s doing great.
Kristi Malzahn: Awesome. Awesome. Thank you.
Mary Beth Smart: She’s doing really great. But the craziest part to me, I mean, it’s all I mean God has a hand in everything. She calls me in maybe October and she’s in it. She was just beaten down and it was rough. But she’s like, OK they scheduled my surgery day. And that’s the other blessing in this about us being at Georgia is she’s an hour and a half away. She’s got two girls. I was able to to help her husband and be there, truly be there for her and my in-laws were helping me while I was helping her. We’re all just right here. But she said, my surgery got scheduled and it’s January 10th. And I thought OK well this is like middle of October. We’re like 8-0 maybe at the time. It’s lining up on that January 10th. Are you kid, you’re kidding. She’s like no what’s January 10th? I’m like that’s the national championship game. She’s like OK. I’m like you can switch it. She’s like no, I’m not going to switch it. This is what it is. I just, she just you know she just has felt like all of it was meant, she was just meant to take it almost. You know?
Kristi Malzahn: Yeah.
Mary Beth Smart: I kept saying you don’t have to be a martyr. Change the dang surgery.
Kristi Malzahn: Please.
Mary Beth Smart: Her big surgery was literally on the day of our national championship game and it was just, it just added to everything, to the emotions of the game. I mean the whole day, we had a suite. One of our doctor’s wives is a yoga instructor. We did a game day yoga. You know it’s just such a long day anyway. You’re just waiting around all day.
Kristi Malzahn: It’s miserable.
Mary Beth Smart: And we had a prayer for her and a prayer for the team and but it was just such an emotional day. I remember meeting some of our college buddies down in the lobby for a burger at lunch and one of my friends just saying how are you doing? And I’m just like (mimic crying) I just cried all day. I just cried the whole day.
Kristi Malzahn: It’s true. The emotions are so high any way. I mean it’s just so intense. Like you feel it for them so much, for the hubs so much that it’s intense there but then you add that like you said, real life. If you take everything away at the end of the day, obviously our families and our friends are way more important than what we do, this thing for entertainment. Which is great and I’m so thankful for that opportunity, but you know.
Mary Beth Smart: And sometimes it just happens to be that everything is on the same day. But I was able to take her oldest daughter with me and my dad was with us and so we had some sweet moments. She texted me, I mean I wasn’t expecting her to, but it was like 30 minutes before kickoff, she said I’m back in my room and I’m OK. Love you. And I was like alright. And then the tears stopped. I was like she’s OK.
Kristi Malzahn: Let’s do this. She’s OK. Now Kirby, do your job. (laughs)
Mary Beth Smart: That’s right. It was like they got good news from the surgery. No cancer remaining found. It just was, it was like a relief and it almost felt like alright we’re about to go do this.
Kristi Malzahn: Yeah.
Mary Beth Smart: But she just missed the whole thing. And that’s what, I mean she’s like my best friend. She calls herself Pippa which is Kate Middleton’s sister. She’s just that person that’s always with me on game day. She’s like, “You need to put on some lipstick,” or “let me hold your purse, it doesn’t need to be in the picture right now.” Or she’s just kind of — “let me take so-and-so to the bathroom.” I’m just relying on her and she wasn’t there for any of it and so it’s like my kids are older thankfully now they’re a little more self sufficient, but she’s just kind of been that person that I rely on, and so to selfishly not have her there with me for all of it was sad too.
Kristi Malzahn: For sure.
Mary Beth Smart: But she’s been great. Her hair’s been growing back in all curly. She looks like my mom did with her perm in the ’90s.
Kristi Malzahn: It’s a whole thing.
Mary Beth Smart: She’s coming to every game this year she says. So it will be fun.
Kristi Malzahn: Rejoicing. We’re just going to — I can only imagine. That is a thing, my sister and I are very close and it is — they were with us in Auburn and she’s still there. She’s an assistant principal at an elementary there. Truly, it is one of those things that I miss having. I’m like find your game, find your game now. I need to know that you’re going to be around. So it is something that is kind of special.
Mary Beth Smart: I am super thankful to have a sister.
Kristi Malzahn: Yeah me too.
Mary Beth Smart: So it’s part of our story. She wouldn’t have found hers so early if it hadn’t had been for my mom. So it’s just you know.
Kristi Malzahn: All part of it.
Mary Beth Smart: There are silver linings in all of it.
Kristi Malzahn: Yeah, little bitty. OK so without doing all the cliché you know this that and the other, was there anything that you learned this year that you, with the winning, that you weren’t expecting? Was there anything that kind of, wow that was a little more than what I expected?
Mary Beth Smart: That’s a really good question. And I don’t know how to answer it. I think that it has really made Kirby and I closer in the sense of, I mean we realized it’s OK if you don’t win. I remember saying it’s OK. Like after the SEC Championship when we just got stomped. It’s OK. It doesn’t define who we are. It doesn’t define him. Doesn’t define me. My college basketball coach coached for 30 years and never – he went to four or five Final Fours and never won it. I remember him calling me before the playoffs and he was like, “You tell him it’s OK either way.”
Kristi Malzahn: It’s true. It’s true.
Mary Beth Smart: Yeah. and it means a lot to a lot of people. And I sure am glad he won. But I think that throughout that pressure building you know just taking deep breaths and I will tell you this too, we’ve learned in our first year here I think when we were 7-5 in the regular season, you better stinking enjoy every single victory because it is not easy.
Kristi Malzahn: No.
Mary Beth Smart: Go celebrate every single one whether you were supposed to win by three touchdowns or not. Celebrate them all.
Kristi Malzahn: It’s the truth. It is the truth. It’s a good word because it’s not, it is you know I say so often, it is not who we are it is what we do.
Mary Beth Smart: That’s right.
Kristi Malzahn: And it is, it’s fun what we do. And it matters a lot but at the end of the day, you know the x’s and o’s, if you saw any difference, for us truly state championship, national championship, granted head coach, assistant coach, but when we went, it’s all relative to where you are but it really is very, it’s hard to — I remember Pam Ruth and I walking in 2010, he was defensive, we were offensive, and we lived closed and we would walk in the afternoons sometimes. She just said it’s just one of those things you just want to bottle it and make certain that you’re enjoying the journey and Gus talks about that all the time. That he wishes now after having done it and been in the possible, that you get to the end you kind of want to enjoy it. You want to make certain that you’re having fun while you’re doing it but that you’re consciously paying attention to well that was kind of cool, that was kind of fun. Because sometimes it comes and it goes and you just wake up the next morning and it’s back to recruiting the next class or even that night recruiting the next class. And you don’t really get time to enjoy or you, you know, that piece of it.
So you mentioned the recruiting. That you wanted to get there and get there early. Do you, do you play on, and I don’t know how much you’re involved in recruiting or not. I don’t, I mean if you want to share that you can. Tell me all of your trade secrets honey. What are you doing?
Mary Beth Smart: So my biggest strength. OK my biggest strength and what I’m good at is playing spades with the mamas. I’m really good at spades.
Kristi Malzahn. Yeah. Really?
Mary Beth Smart: I’ve known how to play a long time. Goes to my basketball days and so I think that I can really relate better, really relate to people well around a card table. You know there’s just something about kinda trash talking and I love to sit and get to know people that way. So that’s probably my biggest, like still can’t think of the word that I want to say but strength or
Kristi Malzahn: So I really figured you’d be pulling out the whole I’m a Division I player, I get it. I understand. I got you. I know, you know that part feels very relatable to me too. I’m impressed with the whole spades thing. That, that, that mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Mary Beth Smart: No I would say, I would say I’ve definitely talked about my experiences as a student-athlete but to be honest, it is so different now than when—
Kristi Malzahn: So different.
Mary Beth Smart: I played. And it is also so different for women’s sports and football. So there’s not a whole lot of
Kristi Malzahn: Crossing over.
Mary Beth Smart: Right. So I mean I do think that people and mamas in general are interested in my experience but I think for the most part I relate more as a mother than I do as like a former DI player. Especially as my children are starting to get older. They’re starting ninth grade and I’m starting to see I’m about to send these babies off to college in four years and so I think I relate more on that level maybe than I do like in my 20-year-old self.
Kristi Malzahn: Sure. Yeah.
Mary Beth Smart: So it’s hard for me to imagine sending two off at once so I’m just, seeing them dropping their babies off and I’m like I can’t, I can’t—
Kristi Malzahn: It’s too much. I know. It’s too much.
Mary Beth Smart: Too much.
Kristi Malzahn: I know. It is so, it’s a real thing. It is a real thing. And that is once I think the hardest, the funnest but the hardest time for us was when our kids, the college kids were their peers. They were all about the same age when they were in school with the players, and you know, you just kind of [clench teeth], yeah yeah. It gets a little, it can get a little fun. Yeah. (laughs)
Mary Beth Smart: Yeah, yeah we’re not there yet. We’re not there. My children do love it though, and they’re all very different. My twins love it for different reasons. Like my older son is very cerebral and he gets into the rankings and the statistics and all that stuff. I mean he’s always watching the shows when all the rankings come out. Super into it. My daughter just likes the social. She loves to see what everybody’s wearing and loves to tailgate. My little one now, I mean he is all in.
Kristi Malzahn: All in.
Mary Beth Smart: He goes to practice. He wants to be at practice every day if he can. Which he can’t be there every day, just his schedule. But he is old enough now—
Kristi Malzahn: But as much as possible. Yeah.
Mary Beth Smart: He’s old enough now that I just drop him off.
Kristi Malzahn: That’s nice.
Mary Beth Smart: And that was a fun thing about last season is, he was in fourth grade last year. And fourth grade they crank up the homework, so that was part of his motivation was, if your homework is done and you’ve done what you’re supposed to do, he got to go to practice every Wednesday. And Wednesdays Kirby comes home after practice.
Kristi Malzahn: Right.
Mary Beth Smart: So it was fun for him. I dropped him off after school and he stayed until Kirby brought him home. He went every Wednesday and hung out with the kickers. And so he thought he was part, you know, just part of
Kristi Malzahn: Part of the team. Absolutely. We talked
Mary Beth Smart: Part of it. And I love that.
Kristi Malzahn: I do too. We talked about that last week with, or last time I talked to Gus. That was something that I did but there is something being able to pull the family in and it’s like everybody doing it together. There’s a common goal and you’re working as a team inside your home towards something. You know everybody has their piece that’s separate and individual and their own strengths and their own interests and stuff but at least there’s one common thing that kind of keeps everybody together.
Mary Beth Smart: And it’s so good for Kirby, too, to have. I mean just yesterday I dropped Andrew off at 2:15, 2:15ish. And he’s got his little gizmo watch so I was like call me on your watch when you’re ready for me to pick you up. Because he’ll just disappear in the middle, you know, everybody there is looking for him. (laughs) But I was like, “How was it? How was dad?” And he said, “Man I got there and Dad said, ‘Ooh boy I’m tired.’ And he said, ‘I sure needed to see you right now.’ ”
Kristi Malzahn: Aww.
Mary Beth Smart: You know and I just love that. They have a special bond through it.
Kristi Malzahn: But those are the things that he’s going to remember that matter the most. Those are the things right there. Dad will remember
Mary Beth Smart: And he’s still young enough to where he’s kinda cute. (laughs) Like the players don’t think he’s annoying. He’s kinda cute and funny. (laughs)
Kristi Malzahn: (laughs). It’s so true. They do hit that stage where Ooook you’re not funny anymore. Yeah so.
So you talked about women’s sports. Do you do much, I mean that’s your alma mater and those are your people and all the things. Do you do much with the basketball? The women’s basketball?
Mary Beth Smart: We’re just really big fans.
Kristi Malzahn: You know you just got our, our Coach Abe.
Mary Beth Smart: Oh that’s right!
Kristi Malzahn: Oh that’s right! She sure was.
Mary Beth Smart: That is where she came from. I actually, I’m really enjoying her. I had not met her before she got the job. So I’m really glad they’re here. And her husband is great too.
Kristi Malzahn: Yeah. Yeah they are sweet people.
Mary Beth Smart: We go to a lot of the women’s games.
Kristi Malzahn: That’s awesome.
Mary Beth Smart: We’re just big fans and supporters. I’ve talked to Coach Abe. We texted the other day. She wants me to come speak to some recruits. Anything, and Kirby is the same way. Anything we can do to help any of our teams—
Kristi Malzahn: Sure.
Mary Beth Smart: We are (thumbs up). I just, sometimes I feel like do they really want to hear from me? Like I don’t know. It seems kind of funny.
Kristi Malzahn: Absolutely they do.
Mary Beth Smart: But I, I love the sport and I love to be around it. And anything I can do that my kids are also interested in, I’m there.
Kristi Malzahn: Yeah. Yeah, staying focused and relevant with your children as long as you can. That’s right. It’s fun. Besides being relevant to say, “Get my, are my clothes clean? Can you get me something to eat?” It’s like doing something that’s fun too. That’s important.
Mary Beth Smart: Do we have time for me to ask you a question?
Kristi Malzahn: You sure can.
Mary Beth Smart: OK. So I’m just curious because you’ve got a lot more years than I do right now. How many years has Gus been coaching?
Kristi Malzahn: 32. We’re starting 32.
Mary Beth Smart: I’m starting I guess my 18, 17th as a coach’s wife.
Kristi Malzahn: Yeah.
Mary Beth Smart: So you’re almost double, which is crazy.
Kristi Malzahn: I am almost double in a lot of ways except for—
Mary Beth Smart: I don’t see any wrinkles.
Kristi Malzahn: Except for my length. (laughs) There’s a whole ’nother thing.
Mary Beth Smart: What is something fun? Cause I think I’m still struggling with my role as head coach’s wife in the sense of I’m just not, like a No. 1. I’m a great No. 2. You know what I mean? And so I have, I have especially with the ages my kids are. What are some fun, give me some ideas of something fun you do with your coaches’ wives or your staff to get them together. Because I’ve got some new ones this year.
Kristi Malzahn: It is so hard. Is it hard for you? I’m struggling. I’m not going to lie. I’m struggling with, it is more and more challenging and especially, this is the other thing for Orlando versus smaller college town.
Mary Beth Smart: Yeah you’re probably more spread out.
Kristi Malzahn: We are way more spread out. And it is hard to, I’m still adjusting to we got a 25-30 minute drive just to get to each other’s houses. That’s a whole, you’re talking an extra hour-plus. It affects things so yeah. I really should be asking you because you’re young and fun. I will tell you the thing I did was get a social secretary inside the staff. Find someone who wants to be, who enjoys and will actually take pride in it and then that person sets it up, texts the group. She kind of runs things by me, hey is this, you cool with this if I set? I’m like absolutely. Whatever you want to do. So if you need my—
Mary Beth Smart: Yeah. No that’s a great idea.
Kristi Malzahn: You need my name or my card number, I’ll get those for ya. The rest of it, just tell me when to be there.
Mary Beth Smart: I have nominated our, I’ve got to. We’ve got a coach on staff that’s been with us since he was a GA at Alabama. And now they’re seven years in at Georgia. It’s fun because they’ve had babies, and you know I feel like we’ve watched them grow up. But she’s still like 28, and so she’s my photography coordinator. Like anytime we’re anywhere because her pictures are always so much better.
Kristi Malzahn: So good.
Mary Beth Smart: Than anybody else’s.
Kristi Malzahn: Do you have the newer phone or do you just know how to use that camera on that phone? What’s going on? (laughs) I know. I know.
Mary Beth Smart: (laughs) I need a social coordinator.
Kristi Malzahn: That’s what I do. Truly. So.
Mary Beth Smart: Well I think that’s what’s important. I would give that advice to any, any coach’s wife out there is make friends in your town outside of football too.
Kristi Malzahn: Absolutely.
Mary Beth Smart: Because I just think it’s important, it’s always been important to me to just have that outside. I love my coaches’ wives. But, and I learned this early in my career too. Is you don’t have to be best friends with everybody on the staff. If you have one on the staff that is like, you truly, one real friend, you’re lucky.
Kristi Malzahn: Especially college ranks. I will say the biggest difference in high school and college for me was that — seeing people being able to be fired by position. Because most of the time in high school, it was a staff or you didn’t get fired after a game. You didn’t get fired, you made it through the season. People may be griping about you but you weren’t getting fired after a bad game or something. It’s different. And everything you say, it just finds a way back to. And so it’s a whole, it is nice to find somebody who really, one of my best friends forever will be someone who literally, she’s like, “Now explain this football thing again to me one more time.” Best people in the world because truly they don’t care. They don’t— I think she’s been there one game.
Mary Beth Smart: And they’re probably cheering for you now wherever you go.
Kristi Malzahn: Yes. Yes.
Mary Beth Smart: That’s how two of my best friends in the world are, still live in Tuscaloosa, and they were like, my husbands are at the game in Indy but we’re home cheering for you. (laughs) And it’s nice to have those people that, that you love you for you and not like we say what we do.
Kristi Malzahn: What your position is. It’s the truth. It is the truth. So. OK Mary Beth. I appreciate you so much. And thank you for coming on. And it was good to talk to you.
Mary Beth Smart: Well this was fun. I can’t wait to rate, review, subscribe, all the things, right.
Kristi Malzahn: All the things. All the things. Like I didn’t want a job but here look at me. I’m trying to get a job. (laughs)
Mary Beth Smart: (laughs) Well good luck this year. We’ll be cheering for y’all. OK bye bye.
Kristi Malzahn: Thank you so much. You too. Talk to you soon. Buh Bye.